Broken Butterfly: Fallen Brook Series: Book 3 Read online

  “Nothing, really. I’m just surprised it’s not a limo or a Lamborghini. I mean, it’s you we’re talking about. Sedans aren’t your typical style.”

  He smiles and slaps the top of the car with his open palm. “Get in the fucking car, kitten.”

  As soon as we’re buckled, I ask him, “Where are you taking me?”

  “New club that opened up about six months ago. They know we’re coming.”

  Of course, being with Fallon means we don’t have to wait in line or go through the front door bouncers. Instead, Fallon drives down a side street to the back of the building and we’re met by two nicely dressed men. They usher us through a nondescript door that leads directly upstairs to the VIP section. There’s no escaping the pounding of crappy techno music, so I grab Fallon’s arm and drag him back downstairs to the main dance floor.

  Turns out, Fallon is actually a great dancer. I close my eyes, raise my hands in the air, and let my mind go numb, trying hard to put the past few days behind me and just exist in this moment. Flashes of colored lights dance in front of my closed eyelids and I’m taken back to the night of the bonfire in eleventh grade when Jayson got drunk and we stumbled upon Jacinda giving Ryder a blow job against the dilapidated warehouse. It switches to Fallon’s party when I found Jacinda wrapped around Jayson in an upstairs bedroom, and then later that night when Ryder climbed through my window. Too many emotions flash outward, overwhelming me like wildfire on dry kindle.

  I hear Fallon say, “Fuck off,” as he pulls me against him. My eyes open and I notice a girl scowling up at him then me before she slinks away and disappears into the crowd.

  “What was that about?” I have to raise my voice for him to hear me.

  Fallon adjusts his grip on my hips and turns me around, so my back is to his front. “Some chick who doesn’t understand the words ‘not interested.’”

  “You promised me a night of alcohol,” I shout at him over the music. I need something to help me forget, even if just for a few hours. I can’t handle the memories and the sadness of thinking about Ryder and Jayson right now. Fallon takes my hand and leads me off the dance floor and up a flight of stairs to a sectional leather sofa against the wall of the VIP lounge. I fan my face with a cocktail menu, hoping to cool off a bit.

  “What’s your poison, kitten?”

  The VIP section is located on the second floor, and each section has its own balcony that overlooks the dance floor. It’s also quieter so I don’t have to shout at Fallon when I talk.

  “Tequila okay with you?” I answer.

  Fallon holds up four fingers to the awaiting server. No one asks to see my ID or his. The server comes back within a minute carrying four shot glasses and a bottle of tequila.

  I grab two of the glasses, and after the server fills them halfway. I hastily tip them back, one after the other. “Holy shit, that stuff’s strong,” I gasp.

  “Keep that up and I’ll have to carry you out of here.”

  I grab the shot Fallon’s holding and tip that one back as well. “That’s the goal,” I say with a wince as the tequila burns a path down my throat to my stomach. “Total oblivion.”

  “Elizabeth, what’s going on in your head right now?”

  I’m feeling an instant mellow as the alcohol quickly filters into my bloodstream. “Too much is going on in my head. I need a few more of those and I’ll be good to go.” I wave our server back over and order two more shots. Fallon doesn’t say anything; he just sits back and watches.

  After downing my fifth shot, I announce out of the blue, “I hate Jacinda.”

  “Why the fuck are you thinking about that bitch?”

  My tongue feels a bit thick and I slur, “Did you know I caught her going down on Ryder when we were in high school? And then of course, there was your party where I saw her climbing all over Jayson, who was half-naked by the way.” I wave my hands in the air and giggle, then frown. “She was always trying to touch my men.”

  “I think it’s water for you from now on.”

  I ignore him. “Jayson tried to fuck me against a tree the night of the bonfire party. He was so drunk. Maria was flirting with Ryder. That night sucked,” I pout. “God, I hate having my memories back. I just want them to go away. Can you do that, Fallon? Can you make them go away?” I plead, tears springing up in my glassy eyes.

  Fallon leans forward and wipes away my drunken tears with his thumb. “I promised you that I would help you, Elizabeth. It won’t happen overnight. Come on. Let’s go dance,” he says, and I stumble beside him back downstairs onto the dance floor.

  The music changes tempo to a slower beat and I feel someone’s hand cup my ass and squeeze. At first, I think it’s Fallon. The tequila has slowed my reaction time, and before I’m even able to confirm whose hand it is, Fallon is punching some guy in the face.

  “You don’t fucking touch what doesn’t belong to you, asshole!”

  For a second, the guy Fallon just knocked to the floor looks up at me, and I swear he’s Jayson. I startle back and ram into Fallon. The guy picks himself off the floor, his hands held up in supplication, and backs away. I shake my head to rid it of Jayson’s image.

  “I think I agree with you on no more alcohol,” I tell Fallon. “I’m going to grab a bottle of water from the bar.”

  I take my time making my way off the dance floor, still feeling a little wobbly on my legs. I notice a tall guy standing at the bar. I get a brief glimpse of his shirt, which has a Randy’s Custom Auto logo on it. Ryder’s here? How did he find us? I am so unbelievably happy in that moment. I shove my way through the crowd desperate to get to him.

  “Ryder!” I shout. Someone knocks into me, and I slam into a guy to my left. I push him away. He’s not the man I want. I look back to the bar and Ryder is walking off. “Ryder! Wait! Don’t leave!” Fallon calls my name before he grabs my arms. “Stop it, Fallon. Ryder’s here. Let me go.” I try to wiggle out of his grasp.

  “That’s not him, kitten.”

  “He’s right there.” I point to the guy walking away from the bar. Wait. I’m confused. The guy wearing the logo shirt has red hair and a nose ring.

  “But, I thought…” More tears form behind my eyes and a deep melancholy settles inside my heart.

  “I think you’re done for the night,” Fallen tells me, placing his hand on my lower back, and pushing me off the main floor.

  I blindly go where he leads me, not caring anymore. As soon as we’re out on the secluded side street, the valet pulls up with Fallon’s car. Fallon buckles me in and drives us back to the hotel as I cry silent tears that don’t want to stop. I let him carry me into our suite, my head as heavy as my heart as it drops onto his shoulder, but instead of taking me to my room, he sits me down on one of the sofas and pulls off my boots.

  “I miss them,” I whisper, like I’m telling a secret that I don’t want anyone else to hear.

  “Who?”

  My parents. My sister. Ryder. Jayson. Julien. I miss them all.

  “It’s too much,” I tell him, breaking down into wracking sobs. The loss of my parents and my sister. The loss of a child I never knew. The loss of what Old Elizabeth had with Jayson. The loss of what New Elizabeth had been building with Ryder. I feel it all, and it’s just too much. Pain. Sorrow. Heartbreak. Loss. Grief.

  “I want my mom,” I finally choke out.

  “I know you do,” he says softly. Fallon holds me and lets me cry. It’s something I hadn’t allowed myself to do until now.

  “I want to go home. Take me home, Fallon.”

  “Close your eyes and tell me who you see.”

  I give him a surly look.

  “Close your eyes, kitten.”

  I do.

  “Who do you see?”

  “Ryder and Jayson.”

  “Then you’re not ready.” Fallon shifts on the sofa beside me. “Come here,” he says, and pulls me into his arms.

  I’m tipsy and sad, and my eyes burn from crying. I snuggle into Fallon’s warm body
and listen to his heartbeat. Old Elizabeth imagines it’s Jayson and remembers all the times she would fall asleep with her head resting on his chest.

  “I hate you,” I tell her in a slurred murmur.

  Right before I succumb to my drunken exhaustion, I think I hear Fallon say, “One day, kitten, you will truly hate me.”

  I place a blanket over Elizabeth who is out cold on the sofa. I stand over her and watch her sleep for a moment. She was having fun tonight and I was right there with her. She didn’t even blink an eye when I punched that guy. When I saw him grab her ass, I wanted to do more than punch him. Elizabeth just watched as I clocked him, then she laughed and kept on dancing like nothing happened. Whoever this new, screwed-up, damaged version of Elizabeth is, I like her. She also looked hot as hell in that little red dress. I’ve always been attracted to Elizabeth and having her around me twenty-four seven has taken everything in me not to drag her to my bed. The non-stop urge to fuck her tight little body has me jerking off several times a day. Fuck. I allow myself one more minute to gaze down at her slumbering form, then pop a stick of gum in my mouth and walk upstairs.

  I’ve been sending Ry text updates like I promised Elizabeth I would. It’s like he has the phone plastered to his hand or something because no matter what time I text him, whether it’s the morning or the middle of the night, he responds immediately.

  Me: Your girl misses u.

  Ry: I miss her so damn much.

  Ry: Got into another fight with Jay. He’s going apeshit that she hasn’t come back. Jules isn’t much better. I’m getting a lot of heat here bc I agreed to let you take her away. We already missed over a year with her when she was in Seattle. This is killing me. It’s killing us. Tell me it’s worth it.

  Me: First, hope u kicked his ass.

  Me: Second, I can’t promise anything. She thought she saw u at the club tonight. She’s been a mess ever since she realized it wasn’t u.

  Ry: I can be on the next plane to wherever u r.

  Me: Like I told her 2nite, she’s not ready yet. Stay put.

  Ry: Dammit, Fal!

  Me: Talk to u 2morrow.

  When I reach the top of the stairs, my phone vibrates since I have my ringer turned off. It’s an unknown number. Shit. What does he want now? But when I answer, it’s not who I think it is.

  “What?”

  “Where is she?” Jayson’s irate voice demands.

  “How the fuck did you get my number?” I’ll make sure to change it tomorrow.

  “Where is she, Fallon?”

  “With me, but you already knew that.” I know I’m stirring the hornet’s nest and I take great pleasure in doing so because I can’t stand the guy.

  “Put Liz on the phone right this damn minute, Fallon!”

  “She’s sleeping. We had a long night and she’s exhausted,” I reply vaguely, feeling joy at riling him up and stirring the pot.

  “You motherfucker! If you’ve done anything to her—”

  “Shut the fuck up, Jay, and back the hell off. She’s upset and confused and needs time to figure things out. I don’t know why I’m even telling you this because I couldn’t give two shits about you. If you truly love her like you say you do, you’ll give her the time she needs. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”

  I hang up and turn my phone off. It wouldn’t surprise me if Jay hired that shitty PI again to get my number. Well, I can guarantee tonight’s unexpected phone call won’t happen again.

  I strip my shirt off and walk over to the bed. My back is stiff and a little sore. It’s the result of muscle scar tissue. Elizabeth is a very perceptive girl, and she knew exactly what she was seeing when she noticed the faded marks on my back. We are alike in so many ways, she and I. Alike in more ways than she could possibly imagine.

  Chapter 6

  Day 4: Finding Myself

  New York City

  I’m dreaming and I hope I never wake up because when I do, I know I’ll be alone again without my boys. Without Ryder, Jayson, and Julien. So I remain in my dream of Ryder, needing to feel his presence close to me, even if it’s only a figment of my subconscious mind. In my dream, Ryder’s hard body is beneath me, his golden gaze heated and locked onto my face, his strong hands roaming freely across my flushed skin. I feel our emotions swirling in the air. The lust, desire, and love that permeates every atom of every state of matter surrounding us.

  “You’re too damn sexy for your own good, Ryder, and I’m going to show you how much I want you.” I gently bite his pectoral and lick it, the salt from his skin delicious. “How much I love you.” I kiss his clavicle. “How much I am yours and only belong to you.” I pop the button on his jeans and slide my hands around to palm his backside.

  Another shadowy form materializes in front of me, reminding me of memories lost. Old Elizabeth touches Ryder’s face and I warn her to stay away from him. He’s mine.

  She just smiles vacantly at me and leans down to whisper in Ryder’s ear. “I chose Jayson.”

  I startle awake, feeling like I’ve been sucked into a dark nothingness as I struggle for breath. Then I realize where I am. The blackout curtains in the hotel suite block out all outside light, making it impossible to know if it’s day or night. Looking around for my phone, I grumble when I remember that Fallon has it. He unplugged and threw out all the phones in the suite. I also don’t know how he managed it, but my key card only activates the elevator to our floor and unlocks the hotel suite door. It doesn’t work on the business room downstairs where the guests can use computers for free. I know because I tried. Fallon also has been watching me like a hawk. And if he can’t, one of the five employees assigned to our suite does. It’s fucking annoying.

  Bastard.

  Sitting up on the sofa, I wrap the blanket around my shoulders. I modify his title of bastard a little when I realize Fallon must have covered me with the blanket sometime during the night. He’s a sweet bastard for taking care of me, but a bastard none the less. I get up to go to my bedroom and notice the hotel clock on the bedside table telling me it’s five in the morning. No wonder I woke up. It’s the time I usually run with Julien. I wonder if he’s running this morning with Elijah. I wonder if he misses me like I miss him.

  I quickly change into a workout bra and yoga pants, put on the new running shoes I bought with Fallon’s money, and slip out of the room to take our suite’s private elevator down to the fitness center, hoping my key card works there. When the elevator doors open on the tenth floor, I’m greeted by one of the hotel staff members. It’s a little freaky to me when they pop up like they somehow know exactly where I am or where I’m going.

  “Good morning, Miss Fairchild. Visiting the fitness facility?” the young woman politely inquires. She’s dressed in a black skirt suit with a cream-colored blouse. Her chestnut hair is rolled into a tight knot at the nape of her neck. I step out of the elevator and smile broadly at her when I see the phone case clipped at her waist. Don’t do it, Elizabeth, I tell myself. Of course, I ignore my own advice.

  “Good morning” —I look at her nametag— “Veronica.” I increase the wattage of my smile. “I forgot my phone in my room. Would you mind if I borrowed yours? I promise it will only take a second. I’d hate to have to go all the way back to my room for mine.”

  “Please, be my guest.” She slides her phone out of the case, unlocks it, and hands it to me. I send up a silent hallelujah.

  “Thank you so much, Veronica. You are a life saver.” I step away and dial Ryder’s number.

  “Hello?” his sleep-husked voice answers. God, he sounds so good. My heart both melts and breaks at the same time at the sound of his deep, baritone voice.

  “Ryder?”

  His sleepy tone quickly evaporates. “Elizabeth? Fuck, baby, it’s good to hear your voice. Wait. Where’s Fallon?”

  “Asleep. This isn’t my phone.” I peer over my shoulder to make sure Veronica isn’t eavesdropping. “I’m sorry, Ryder. I’m so sorry. You must hate me right now.”
<
br />   “I could never hate you, sweetheart.” Sweetheart. It gets me every damn time.

  “I remembered, Ryder. It all came back. I don’t know what to do.”

  Ryder’s silent on the other end and I feel my world start to unravel. I’ve lost him. He doesn’t want me anymore. I’ve ruined everything.

  I hear his deep inhale at the same time I hear a dinging noise behind me.

  “I love you so much, Ryder. If you doubt anything about us, please never doubt that. I love—” The phone is snatched out of my hand and I yelp out in shock and spin around. “Hey!”

  An angry Fallon is standing before me, eyes iced with frigid blue indignation. I try to take the phone back, but he holds it out of my reach and brings it to his ear. “Hey, man. Sorry about that. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Fallon, give that back!”

  He menacingly steps toward Veronica, who shrinks back a little, and shoves the phone at her. “Let her use your phone again and you’ll be out of a job.”

  He grabs my wrist and pulls me toward the open elevator doors. I don’t struggle. Instead, I glower and pout. Very mature, I know.

  “Fallon, what the hell?”

  He pulls me the rest of the way inside the elevator and places our room key up to the electronic scanner. Once the box starts going up, Fallon whirls on me and shoves me against the wood-paneled elevator wall.

  “I should be asking you that, kitten. You wanted my help and I’m giving it to you. Stop acting like a brat, sneaking around, and making secret phone calls.”

  I glare up at him. “You can’t tell me what to do. I can call Ryder or Jayson or even Julien whenever the hell I want.”

  Fallon presses in until our faces are so close, we’re breathing the same microcosm of air. “You gave me the right to tell you what the fuck to do when you came to me and asked for my help. Either accept my rules or go the fuck home. I don’t need this shit.”

  My lower lip quivers but I suck it up and raise my head high, eyes flashing.

  “There she is,” Fallon says with approval. “Now close your eyes.” I do with a huff. “Who do you see?”