Broken Butterfly: Fallen Brook Series: Book 3 Page 2

  I walk around the condo, looking for Liz. Ryder follows me wondering what I’m doing. Liz, where are you? Did she sneak out?

  “Jay, I’m worried.”

  “Ry, she’s fine,” I assure him. Liz was with me in bed a few hours ago.

  “How can you be so sure? Weren’t you the one who pointed out what could happen to her if she had another memory blackout? She could be hurt for fuck’s sake!” he yells at me. “Her location tracking is turned off. Why the hell would she do that? She promised to keep it on so we could find her in emergencies.”

  That’s a good question. Where the hell are you, Liz? It’s then I see the piece of paper with my name on it sitting on top of the coffee pot. The paper is folded like a tent, my name is written in large block letters. Ryder sees the note at the same time I do but gets to it first.

  His face morphs into furious anger. I rip the paper from his hand.

  “Jayson, I’m sorry. Last night should never have happened. – Elizabeth”

  “What happened last night, Jay?” Ry’s voice is hard and threatening. I think he already knows.

  “Liz’s memory returned,” is all I get to say before Ryder punches me in the face.

  Chapter 2

  One good thing about Fallon is that he knows when not to ask questions. He takes one look at me standing on his frat house doorstep and grabs my arm, pulling me inside. A dozen of his fraternity brothers silently watch as he leads me upstairs and into what I assume is his room.

  “You look like shit,” he tells me as he shuts his bedroom door. He grabs a rolled-up towel from a shelf and throws it at me. “Bathroom is through there.” He points to the doorway located adjacent to his dresser.

  I hold the towel close to me, hugging its softness, wanting to feel something good to help replace some of the bad. I nod at Fallon and walk on blistered feet across the wood floor and into the tiled bathroom. I turn the shower on to the hottest setting it will go to and step under the spray without taking off the ill-fitting clothes I arrived in. I pray the hot water will scald my skin until it peels off. If it doesn’t, I will rub every inch of my body raw until it does, needing to get the smell of sex with Jayson off of my skin. I don’t realize I’m screaming until Fallon flings open the bathroom door and rushes in.

  “What the fuck, Elizabeth?”

  I’m not used to him calling me by my given name. I’ve always been “kitten” to him. He reaches for the shower handle and turns the temperature down. “Jesus,” he hisses when he looks at me. Some of my skin, the parts not covered by clothes, are bright red, and thin trickles of blood create a path of rivulets from the broken blisters on my feet to the shower drain. Fallon steps inside the shower with me and turns me around to face him, not seeming to mind that his clothes are getting drenched. I look up at him with desolate, beggar’s eyes.

  “Going to tell me why you landed on my doorstep?”

  No, I’m not, so I don’t answer him. He’s not supposed to ask questions. He’s not supposed to care.

  Fallon sighs then reaches for a bottle and squirts some of its contents into his hand. He lifts my heavy, long hair and massages the lather through each strand. I close my eyes and step forward to grab his waist, laying my forehead to his chest. Fallon takes his time with my hair, making sure to rinse it thoroughly so no shampoo remains. He reaches behind me and turns the shower off. He uses the towel to rub my hair dry, then takes my hand. The soggy clothes on my body drip water all over his floor, but he doesn’t say anything. Fallon tells me to sit down on the seat of the toilet and I obey. He takes out a first aid kit from his bathroom cabinet and wordlessly tends to my blistered feet. I watch as he walks into his bedroom and takes a couple items of clothing out of his dresser and lays them on his bed. He comes back inside the bathroom and lifts me up in his arms to carry me the ten feet to his large, king-sized bed. Setting me down on the bedspread, not caring that I am also getting it wet, he lifts my bandaged feet, carefully slipping a sock on each, before picking up the folded clothes and placing them in my hands.

  “Put these on,” he tells me.

  I follow his directions like a child does a parent. Fallon opens his bedroom door and steps outside, giving me some privacy. I strip the wet fabric off, gingerly walking back into the bathroom and placing the garments in the sink and put on the clean ones Fallon gave me. The cotton shirt and pants soothe my scalded skin. I can tell how expensive the cloth is just from how it feels. I trundle back over to his bed and lie down. The scent that lingers on his sheets smells like lemon, ginger, and bergamot. How the hell do I know what a bergamot is? I do. It’s a type of orange.

  I hear the bedroom door click open and then close. The bed dips beside me and Fallon lies down at my back. He pulls me into his arms and rests his head against mine. “It’s going to be okay, Elizabeth.”

  “You always call me kitten,” I mumble.

  “That’s because I’m an asshole.”

  If I didn’t feel so utterly destroyed, I may have chuckled. “You’re not an asshole, Fallon.”

  “A lot of people would disagree.”

  Old Elizabeth would agree with that. She would never have come to Fallon for help. She would never have allowed him to touch her. Old Elizabeth was both wary of and cautiously fascinated by Fallon.

  I roll over and look at him. We are almost nose to nose. I take in his crystalline blue eyes. They are a unique color of blue, almost like the blue of arctic ice. His sandy-blond hair is disheveled and sticking up at the top, and his lower jaw is covered in a day’s growth of dark blond stubble.

  “I never thought I’d see the day when I got Elizabeth Fairchild in my bed.”

  “I take it back. You are an asshole.”

  We lie quietly and stare at each other for a long time.

  “Secret for a secret?” he asks me. I nod yes.

  “What happened?”

  “My worst fear.”

  “Inflatable tube guys?”

  This time I do chuckle. “No. The other one.”

  Fallon’s eyebrows scrunch up as he thinks. I lift my finger to the creases and smooth them away. “I remembered.”

  He goes rigid next to me. I would never have been able to tell if I wasn’t lying so close to him. “What did you say?”

  “My memory came back. I remember everything.”

  He swallows a few times. “What do you remember?”

  “Everything.”

  “Elizabeth, what happened?”

  I roll over onto my back, not able to look him in the eye when I say it. “I slept with Jayson last night.”

  He curses a few times. “Why the fuck would you do that?”

  I burst into tears.

  “Shit. Elizabeth, stop crying.”

  I cry harder. He curses some more.

  “It’s her fault!” I finally say.

  “Who?”

  “Old Elizabeth. I hate her. I didn’t want her to come back, but she did. She’s ruined everything!”

  “You know that you sound crazy as fuck right now.”

  He’s right. Perhaps I have lost my mind. I suck in a deep breath and wipe my face.

  “I swear on my life, I love Ryder. I would never hurt him, Fallon. Never.” When Ryder finds out I slept with Jayson last night, he will never forgive me.

  “Then explain it to me. How could you fuck Jay when you say you love Ry?”

  Fallon hit the nail on the head with that one. I did fuck Jayson. There was no making love at all. It was pure, animalistic fucking.

  “When the memories came back last night, it’s like I became another person. I had no control anymore. It’s as if someone else had taken over my body. Holy shit, Fallon! I remember everything. I remember what happened that night. My fight with Jayson. Going to Ryder. Coming home.”

  I touch my tattooed-covered scars on my side. “I can feel His breath on my skin. The way the knife slid easily into me. I can see my parents. I remember what He did to Hailey!” I scream, not able to bear the memory of what
happened to my sister.

  I jump off the bed and start throwing anything I can get my hands on. Glass items, cologne bottles, papers, and books crash into the walls and onto the floor. Fallon tries to grab me, but I twist out of his hold and start punching and slapping him just like I did to Jayson last night. I’m so angry. I want to hurt something. I want someone to hurt as badly as I do.

  Fallon catches my fist and twists my arm back behind me. The sharp tug of pain spurs me on, and I kick him. He lifts and flips me over onto the bed, then lands on top of me, pinning me down. I growl up at him and he smashes his mouth down onto my lips. The shock of his mouth on mine stops me cold and sobers me up instantly.

  “Fallon, what the hell?” I screech, bucking up to throw him off me.

  Fallon grins down at me. He fucking grins and I still my movements. “It made you stop, didn’t it?”

  He lifts himself up. I want to smack the smirk off his face at the same time I want to hug him. He’s right. The kiss brought me back to reality and dried my tears. I’m still angry, though. I’m still destroyed.

  “What am I going to do, Fallon? How can I face Ryder after what I’ve done?”

  Fallon pulls me to a sitting position. “What do you want to happen?”

  I scrape my fingernails over my thighs, needing to feel that slight sting of pain on my skin. I’m briefly reminded of the marks Hailey tried to hide from me that morning in our bathroom. “I don’t know,” I reply, heartbroken and lost.

  It’s the truth. My mind is having an internal battle between what once was and what is now. I already know I’m about to do the one thing I promised Ryder and Julien I would never do again. It’s going to break my heart and hurt the boys deeply, but until I can get a grip on which Elizabeth will prevail, I need to stay away from all three of them. Not just for their sake, but for mine as well. And knowing what I have to do just makes everything seem that much worse now. I swore to Ryder that if my memories returned, it would not change things between the two of us. I promised Julien that I would never leave again. And knowing I will not keep those promises shreds my already tattered heart even more. I thought I couldn’t break any more than I already have, but I was so wrong. Poor little broken butterfly.

  Fallon scrutinizes me for a long minute, then appears to make a decision. “Stay here. Do not leave this room.”

  I flop back on the bed and grab one of Fallon’s pillows. I want to tell him I have nowhere to go. I can’t go home because Ryder will be there. Fallon leaves the room and closes the door behind him. My body and mind finally agree on one thing—total exhaustion. Within minutes, I’m asleep.

  I leave Elizabeth in my room and go downstairs. A few of my frat brothers stop talking when I round the corner to go to the kitchen, but when Matt spots me, he elbows Jacob beside him, and they both grin.

  “Damn, Fallon. You’re the only guy I know who can get pussy express-delivered to him on a Friday morning. That chick is definitely a screamer.” Matt laughs. He thinks he’s being funny.

  “Want to repeat that? I didn’t hear you.”

  Jacob stops laughing and steps away from Matt. Jacob knows how I am. He knows who I am. Everybody on this damn campus knows. Matt, however, apparently doesn’t. He’s one of the new freshman initiates. He’ll learn who I am, what I am, soon enough.

  Matt chuckles again and opens his mouth to speak, but I’m in his face before he gets a chance to utter his first syllable. I grab the front of his shirt and slam him against the refrigerator. The heavy appliance rocks back into the wall then settles.

  “Fallon, what the hell?” he yelps.

  I sneer at him, baring my teeth. “The first mistake you made was talking to me like we’re friends. We’re not friends, Pledge. I’m the king of this castle and you are nothing. The second mistake you made is that you opened that smart-ass mouth of yours. The worst mistake you could have ever made was talking shit about that girl.”

  I release my grip on his shirt, then deliver a punch to his gut that sends him to his knees. I place my foot on his chest and push him down to the floor, holding him in place, not caring that he’s struggling for breath or that his face is turning red.

  “You will not look at that girl. You will not talk to that girl. You will not come near that girl. Do I make myself clear?”

  Matt gasps a few times then nods his head yes. I look around at all of the other fraternity brothers who have gathered around or are standing in the doorways that lead to the kitchen. “Do I make myself clear?” I repeat, looking at everyone. “Now get this fucker off my floor and out of my sight.”

  I grab the items I want from the pantry and walk out to the back patio deck. It’s late morning and the autumn sun is bright today. The temperatures are nice and cool. I reach in my pocket and grab a stick of gum. Why did I stop smoking again? A glance up to my bedroom window answers that question. Popping the gum into my mouth, I take out my phone.

  Me: Her memory came back. We need to talk.

  I hit send.

  My little kitten came crawling to me for help. She may come to regret that decision. I open the contacts on my phone, scroll to the one I need, and press call.

  “Fallon, thank God. Have you heard from Elizabeth?”

  “Hey, man.”

  Ryder has always been that guy for me. Even though he’s a year younger than I am, I look up to him like a reverent little brother would an older brother he idolizes. Ry’s had my back far more times than I can count. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. I know Jayson, Julien, and Elijah have never understood why we’re friends. It’s none of their goddamn business.

  “Elizabeth is missing. Please tell me you’ve seen her.”

  I can hear the panic in his voice. The worry. My boy has always loved Elizabeth. I hate what I’m about to do to him.

  “Ry, I’ve got her.”

  “Thank fuck! Where are you? I’m on my way.”

  “Nah, man. That’s why I’m calling.”

  “Fallon, stop messing around. I’m worried sick. You don’t know what has happened.”

  “I know what happened,” I tell him.

  “What? How?”

  “She’s messed up. She needs time.”

  Elizabeth thinks she’s broken. She thinks I can help fix her. She doesn’t realize that I am as broken as she is. In a fucked-up way, we’re perfect for one another right now.

  “Fuck that! She needs me,” he shouts into the phone.

  “Not yet,” I calmly tell him, hoping he understands. I hear a loud exhale on the other end of the line. I wait.

  “She ran back to him last night,” he says, and I can hear the defeat in his voice.

  “No, she didn’t.” Her past ran back to Jayson, not Elizabeth. I never could stand that pompous asshole.

  “Fallon, I just got her back. I can’t lose her again. I love her too damn much. I can handle what happened last night with Jay. I can accept it. What I can’t handle is losing her. I just want her back,” he states with desperation.

  He’s not going to like what I say next.

  “I’m taking her away for a while. She needs time away from you, Jay, and Jules. She needs time to decide what she wants.”

  “I swear to God, Fallon—”

  “Ry, listen to me. Deep down you understand what I’m trying to tell you. I won’t let anything happen to her. I promise. I’ll protect her with my life.”

  “Shit! Fuck! No way, man. You’re not taking her away from me!”

  “You need to trust me.” He’s silent for a long minute.

  “What about her classes, Fallon?”

  “I’ve got it covered.”

  More silence.

  “I want to talk to her. Put her on the phone.”

  “No,” I tell him.

  “Then I’m coming over.”

  “We won’t be here.”

  “Goddammit, Fallon!”

  “If you love her, Ry, let me do this for her. Give her the time she needs.”

  I know he’l
l do the right thing.

  “I don’t like this one damn bit,” he finally says.

  Good. He shouldn’t, but I know he won’t stop me. He and I could always say a page’s worth of thoughts in just a few words. If he pushed me to bring her back, I would. I know he won’t because he truly does love her. He wants what’s best for her even if it hurts him. It’s one of the reasons why I admire him.

  “Fallon, please tell me that she’s okay.”

  “She’s in a real dark place right now. If pushed, she might not come back from it. I can give her the time and help she needs to deal with everything.”

  Ryder exhales again. “If anything happens to her, I will hunt you down myself. Fuck, I’m going to regret this. Call me tonight and let me know how she is.”

  “I’ll be in touch,” I say, and hang up.

  I walk back upstairs carrying the bottled water and banana I got from the kitchen pantry. Matt and the other frat brothers have wisely retreated out of sight. When I open my bedroom door, I see Elizabeth curled up in my bed, fast asleep. I put down the water and fruit on the table next to my bed and sit down in the armchair across from where she’s sleeping. I laze back, propping a knee on top of the other leg, and watch her sleep. Her face is relaxed but I can tell she’s dreaming from the way her body twitches and jerks. She has always been the most beautiful girl in the world to me. She’s always been my obsessive fascination. I would love to be inside her head right now, to live in her mind’s chaos. I’m fucked-up like that.

  I feel my phone vibrate and I see a reply to my earlier text.

  Unlisted: Can’t talk now. I’ll call you later.

  I hear Elizabeth moan, then gasp as her eyes fly open, her green eyes wide in alarm. She blinks a few times when she sees that it’s me sitting across from her. “Fallon?”

  “Hey, kitten.”

  She sits up and rubs her eyes. “How long was I out?”

  “Not long.” I point to the water beside her on the table. She picks it up, twists the top off, and guzzles half of it. “We’re going on a trip,” I tell her, and her face fills with confusion.